From what my files are telling me, I’ve had the idea for this THERAPY ME SERIES since July of 2015. It was suppose to be a way for me to express myself and work out some things in my head. A lot has happened in the last 11 years in my life. It seems the beginning of it was the passing of my Pops. (Sept 20, 2008) It was like a domino effect of major events, and they were always extremes. Either really good or really bad.
I would like to say I have learned a lot in the past 11 years. I have definitely learned what I can endure and that I am strong than I think. But at the same time, just because I’m strong, doesn’t mean I want to fight or have to endure something every day.
Even thought I had the idea for this series four years again, I am just now putting out the first video. I would always have these grand idea for videos, and effects I would want to put in them. And I might want extra people in them as well. But I didn’t want people to do it for free, I wanted to pay people for their time. I didn’t want other people to film it because I didn’t know if they would do it the way I wanted. I wanted everything to be perfect. But the trust is nothing is perfect, things can be really good and even great! But nothing is perfect and the best part about that is everything can be improved. I wrote this poem in a day and a half, but I have been feeling this way for 11 years. Is it the exact poem I wanted to write, no. I’ve been planning this video for years, is it the exact video I wanted to make, no. But finally I said to myself IF I JUST DON’T DO THIS, I WILL NEVER GET IT DONE. If I wait for perfection, I will never happen. But I can do this, put it out and experience my growth and journey of getting better. There’s a quote by Gordon Parks that says, “At first I wasn’t sure that I had the talent, but I did know I had a fear of failure, and that fear compelled me to fight off anything that might abet it.” I think about that quote all the time. And fortunately most things in life that I have tried and practiced and really wanted to accomplish, I have. And things that I was just messing around with, I never got right. But when I’m serious, I can’t be stopped.
I guess the moral to my story is, nobody is great out the gate. And the journey of anything you do with passion is AMAZING. But you have to start. It doesn’t have to be you doing something every day and every hour, but take that second to start. And improve upon it, enjoy yourself getting better at that passion. And most importantly, do it for yourself. Now a days, everyone has an opinion and some try to express it as a fact. There is always going someone that tried to keep you down because of their own fears. If you believe in yourself and you want to simply try. Then just try! Fail, but make sure you learn. It’s cliche, but knowledge is power. Once you learn how to do something the right way, you become a natural resource and are needed.
That’s enough of me on my soapbox. So, the Therapy Me Series will be poems of things I’m either trying to work out in my head out loud and my perspective on things. Now sure how often I’ll be putting out videos, but hopefully at least twice a month.
I usually am able to recite my poem, but with just writing it in pretty much a day and it being very emotional for me. I had to read it from my phone. Also the reason why its titled “A Phone Call Away” is because now when my mother and I get off the phone. One of us always said “I’m a phone call away.” It’s a nod to her. Thank for watching and reading.
